Accessing Your Power by Marcia Wieder

Author:Marcia Wieder
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: AudioInk Publishing
Published: 2010-03-14T16:00:00+00:00

Ever notice how your feelings sometimes seem to get in the way? If you are feeling sad or depressed, angry or fearful, how does this affect your daily life, much less your dreams? The playwright Jean Kerr said, “Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.”

Most of us find it difficult, if not impossible, to focus on our dreams or desires when we feel lousy. During these times we are typically feeling down, separate, alone, lonely, confused-in a word: shut down. How do you handle these times? There are at least two schools of thought, and I find myself often caught between them. We can either “feel our feelings” or “change our feelings.” Both begin the same way.

The first critical step during these times is to identify what you are feeling. This requires some quiet time, and often it really does require quality time. Close your eyes, take a few breaths and practice just feeling whatever you are feeling.

Once you identify what it is, or at least get a sense of it, then you have the freedom to choose how to interact with it. I spoke with a client who told me she used to hate feeling sad or down and once claimed she never felt depressed for more that three minutes at a time. She was uncomfortable feeling sad and disliked feeling that way.

Like many, she was well trained in changing her feelings. She had a strong will, knew the power of thought and understood the dynamic of shifting her thinking and therefore shifting her feelings.

Lately she is trying something new, something a bit more expansive and with a little more depth. She is exploring a more full range of all her feelings. She is learning what it real­ly feels like to feel sad. Can you feel how rich this can be?

I have a dear friend named Sharon whom I would describe as a very sensitive and empathetic woman. She’s quite profi­cient in creating intimacy and deep relationships. There is definitely a correlation between her ability to feel and express the full range of her emotions and her ability to cherish and have so much love in her life.

Sharon once told me in order to fully experience joy under­stand sorrow and to really laugh, cry. I didn’t want anything to do with that negative thinking, so I avoided “those” thoughts like the plague. I now know differently. Helen Keller said, “We could never learn to be brave and patient if there was only joy in the world.”

Perhaps this notion will comfort you if you too have avoid­ed feeling your feelings, especially the so-called negative ones. The secret is to feel the feeling but not to be swept away in it. This is often called “witnessing.” When you can identify and recognize what you are feeling without “becoming” the sad­ness or “being” the anger, you are practicing a certain level of mastery in your life.

Imagine watching yourself like a third-party observer and see­ing yourself losing your temper or feeling hurt.

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